Happy Valentine's Day!

Thank you, Hut A., Pacoima, CA for your review of Spago, Wolfgang Puck’s restaurant in the Beverly Hills area of Los Angeles, CA. 

I can see you’re upset. This is a shitty thing for the restaurant to do, especially so close to the date of your reservation, and especially without confirming with you that they had to cancel. But, before I continue…

I think… SURPRISE SURPRISE! …Valentine’s Day is stupid. 

(And this has nothing to do with the fact that my college boyfriend broke up with me on February 14th, 2009 right after we cooked a nice dinner and watched one of my favorite movies.) 

I think it’s stupid because it’s a commercially motivated “holiday” that businesses take advantage of to make a lot of money. What bugs me more than that is that we, the people, are more than willing to participate. According to the National Retail Federation the United States spent 25.8 BILLION dollars on Valentine’s Day in 2023. That’s insane. I have a difficult time sympathizing with anyone who chooses to dine out on days such as these knowing that they’re going to pay for a 25%+ markup just because society told them that this is the day they must tell their significant other they love them in a public way or else their love isn’t of any value. 

There are folks for whom it is extremely important how and when they celebrate their birthdays or holidays but, I grew up with divorced parents and 99% of my family on the other coast so we celebrated when it was convenient, and guess what? It was just as special. 

Hut A. this dinner was very important to you. You are someone who wanted to go out on Valentine’s Day and that’s okay even if I don’t understand it. You picked a very nice restaurant and you were willing to pay those prices for the experience and now you feel disrespected. So, it’s not so much that you’re complaining about a canceled reservation, it’s how you’re complaining about it. You sound like mommy’s special boy who’s not getting exactly what he wants. 

I pretty much lost all respect for you when you said “SPA-NO-GO” Are you mad or are you trying to be funny? If you’re going to have a tantrum and get something out of it, you need to commit. Especially if you’re going to blame Wolfgang personally! You missed a HUGE opportunity to utilize Wolfgang Fuck. I mean come on, it rhymes. Easiest trick in the book! 

Did you show your significant other this review defending their honor? I sincerely hope your relationship was able to weather this kind of unspeakable tragedy. Maybe it even brought you closer! I shudder at the thought of you in a hairier, more life-threatening situation. There aren’t many characters ($!#%@#^&*) left to use to express your feelings!

Also, every time someone capitalizes 'EVER' it makes me think of this scene from Step Brothers.

And this is about two nearly 40-year-old men still living with their parents. Not a good look...

Happy Valentine’s Day, Hut A.! Hopefully you were able to find another restaurant in the sprawling city of Los Angeles, I doubt Mr. Fuck is crying over his Cheerios over the loss of another Yelp reviewer.

One out of five stars.

See you next Tuesday.