NSFV (Not Safe For Vegans)

Thank you, Anon Y. Central LA, West Hollywood, CA, for your review of Erewhon in Los Angeles, CA (the one by the Grove).

For those unfamiliar with Erewhon, it is a pretentious, overpriced, yet extremely popular LA supermarket chain whose name is an anagram of ‘nowhere’. I know, just one big LOL. Just like you Anon Y! You are basically this meme! (One of my favs!) I just wish you’d said CrossFit, it would have been so perfect.

It feels like you chose to write this review as a way to humble-brag about exercising every morning - la dee da, Anon Y, we all do, we live in LA - and then of course the veganism thing. 

As someone who has not once even considered the idea of going vegan, I don’t quite know the depths to which you’re able to be offended, but it seems pretty deep. So, I’m sure you’re not going to love what I’m about to say but oh well!

This seems like a simple mistake that was made by an employee. I doubt there was any malintent behind the switcheroo and I’m sure if they were aware they would be apologetic. Now here’s the important part: That pig was already dead. It was not slaughtered specifically for the burrito. BUT since I imagine you threw it away without eating it - I make this assumption because you admittedly buy breakfast out every morning i.e. wasteful -  it’s almost as if the pig has died in vain at your hand. 

I’m not saying you should have gone against your principles and eaten the burrito (although after four years can you imagine how delicious bacon would have tasted?) but you could have found a non-vegan friend or an unhoused person to pass it along to. 

My biggest issue with your review is a problem I have with a lot of people. You claim to love this store - you go there every day - yet the moment you face the slightest hiccup they’re dead to you. Slap the entire store with a one-star review and call it a day! What about the 99% of your other visits that led you to love Erewhon? 

I can't believe I'm defending this absurd place but, this store cares about customers like you! You know, the “ethically conscious.” I went in the week before Thanksgiving (just curious, I’m not made of money) and a 19-pound turkey was $116 because it was Animal Welfare Certified. I was surprised there wasn’t an obituary on the label out of respect! 

Anon Y, I just hope you don't treat your human relationships this way. Someone's been your mother all your life, one day she accidentally gives you bacon and that's it! ONE STAR, MOM.

Think about it.

One out of five stars.

See you at the gym.